Lying Awake in the Universe

Lying Awake

To an Empty house,

Shell of car in a scrapyard,

Abandoned bird’s nest,

Towed airplane parked for the night,

Empty church,

A Graveyard.

It’s the same hour in which the night owl leads me to that dark familiar room. I grab a soft pillow, pull the duvet over me and lay down my aching bones. It’s bedtime and I’m ready to close my tired eyes. Im always the first to depart for the night. A sudden crackling sound of soft thunder catches my attention, but my heavy eyelids refuse to care. A passing thought surfaced from the daze as I wonder if the night will be an easy one with a quick flight into my dreams or, will reality keep me stuck on a hard seat at terminal 1 staring at a broken clock. But I don’t stay awake, and alas, I fall into a deep deep sleep.

The first sight of the morning light behind the curtains is the universe’s renewed embrace and she nudges me awake. Not a clock or early morning sound can compare with her divine grace. She reminds me that she flows through me and I am her. I have time to reflect.

We’ve passed the hour in question in silent slumber, and I smile. It’s been weeks now, I told her last night, that she is either arguing with her late husband in her sleep or whimpering. “It is time to stop”, I say with some effort of authority. She becomes still and stares in disbelief. But the universe runs through us both and we agree it’s time to move past the hurt. She is now post-surgery and her early cancer lumps removed with precision thanks to the most advanced procedure. They said she was the pioneer patient. Depression however came back in August along with pneumonia and a pinched nerve that made her temporarily immobile. The depression still lingers. No chemo needed but the radiologist will start her off with treatments in 2-4 weeks’ time. Christmas for once will not be the same and now we wait for the infection to subside. The return of the emptiness sitting deep in her chest is no stranger to us. It’s a quieter home but a safe one for healing. I too become friends with the quiet space. When you can hear a pin drop and it is loud, you too would scoff at any disturbances in one’s surroundings. Keep her safe.

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